“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.”
― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
Dostoevsky’s words carry a profound warning, but also a vision of hope. The warning is stark: lie to yourself, and you lose the ability to discern truth—not only within yourself but in the world around you. Without truth, you are ruled by passions. Respect disappears, replaced by a hollow pursuit of selfish desires. You chase what you think will make you happy, but happiness eludes you. Love—the purest reflection of God in this life—becomes impossible.
It doesn’t happen all at once. It begins with little lies: excuses for not being home for dinner, skipping that workout, or indulging in secret bad habits we wouldn’t dare confess. Worse, we judge others for the very things we hide in ourselves.
We justify it all. I’m not hurting anyone. I just need a break. My wife will understand why I need time away from her and the kids. My teacher will understand why I didn’t prepare for the test. Surely, God will understand—I’m doing my best. This movie is appropriate for an adult to watch. I am not influenced. I know the commercials are bad, but what’s wrong with letting my kids watch sports.
Lies. Every one of them. Deep down, we know it, and the knowledge eats away at us. We lose respect for ourselves and cover it with more lies. We fool others not because we’re clever but because they, too, are tangled in their own deceptions.
But here is where hope begins. Lies lead to a personal hell—a soul without love. Truth, on the other hand, brings respect, freedom, and love. It ties us to the eternal, to the divine.
Repentance is the key. It’s terrifying, but it’s the only way to freedom. And it’s free. God asks only that we kneel before Him and confess, I am a liar. I need You. I need Your Son. I cannot do this on my own. I submit.
As Saint Gregory Palamas wrote centuries before Dostoevsky:
“As repentance is the beginning and end of the Christian way of life, the Lord’s Forerunner and Baptist, who was himself the starting point of this approach to living, preached saying, “repent ye: for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand” (Matthew 3:2). And the Lord Himself, the perfection of all goodness, said the same in His preaching (Matthew 4:17). Repentance means hating sin and loving virtue, turning away from evil and doing good (cf. Psalm 34:14; I Peter 3:11). These acts are preceded, however, by condemning ourselves for our faults, being penitent before God, fleeing to Him for refuge with a contrite heart, and casting ourselves into the ocean of His mercy, considering ourselves unworthy to be counted among His sons. As the prodigal son said when he repented, “Lord, I am not worthy to be called Thy son: make me as one of Thy hired servants” (cf.Luke 15:19).”
The journey to life—true, eternal life—begins and ends with honesty. We must confront every dark corner of our soul, surrender it to God, and trust in His love. This is how we begin the journey in this life, and how we will be judged in the next.
We are unworthy, and yet, through God’s love, we are made worthy. This paradox teaches us to live in truth. Lies pull us away from what matters most. Facing the truth about ourselves might feel like a humiliating risk, but it’s the only path to escape the lonely, sinful soul that chases fleeting pleasures. It’s the way to light and the only true freedom.
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