Broken And Despondent Therapists – Caring for the Counselor

I am still reflecting on the incredible time I spent sharing my story and teaching The Ladder UPP in Somerset, KY last week at the Adanta Focusing on Treatment and Care Conference. One of the comments I’ve received since is important to share.

This is from a clinician who attended the event:

“Ironically broken and despondent therapists are common. I think the toll of providing therapy over the years takes a tremendous toll on the clinician. God is truly using you to change people’s lives and I can never convey enough how much you changed mine in the few hours that we spent together.”

I have found this to be the case for many of the great clinicians I’ve met over the years. Broken and despondent therapists are more common than you might think. Caring for those who don’t always get better, who don’t always want help and don’t appreciate your effort can break you down. And all too often, the people who are supposed to have the answers don’t get help for themselves when they run out of their own answers.

I truly believe that serving others is the most honorable thing one can do, but it doesn’t make you bullet proof, or even muddle proof. To live free we have to stay focused on the things that make life important and why we chose to help others in the first place in order to keep our own passion.

One simple thing caregivers should all do is keep a journal. We can lose perspective in the daily grind, and journals help us see where we’ve been and who we have helped and impacted so we can be hopeful for the future. Journals also help us stay accountable to ourselves and remember the lessons we’ve learned.

Caregivers should also step out of the caregiver role regularly and allow themselves to be the one being cared for. Regularly meet with a mentor, a pastor, a friend, etc. to let your own steam out. Look in the mirror and be honest about what you see, then step through your fear to do something about it.

Take inventory. Why did I choose this profession in the first place? Where can my skills and passions best be used? Don’t be afraid to make a change in order to better serve others and take care of yourself.

Pat yourself on the back! Due to the nature of counseling, it isn’t often you get to see the long-term results of those you poured your heart and soul into. I promise that if you counsel with love, passion, and empathy, you have changed lives. Many more lives than you’ll ever know. That is awesome, give yourself the credit you deserve!

It is a true honor to speak, teach, and serve the many counselors and caregivers I’ve met over the years. We need more people like you. Stoke the fire, take care of yourself, change the world one life at a time.

We have one life, live free!