We Who Wrestle With God

When I’m stressed out, I tend to turn inward. When that happens, darkness falls, and a spiritual battle begins. In those moments, I often blame God, consumed by anger and disappointment with Him. I lash out at others, even those I love most. But when I’m finally able to be still and find peace, I realize that God and the ones I love are the reason I made it through. The real struggle isn’t with God, family, or friends, but with myself—and the evil one who wants me to vanish into despair.

I often feel attacked or let down by God, so Jordan Peterson’s upcoming book We Who Wrestle With God: Perceptions of the Divine caught my attention. The description on his website reads:

“In riveting detail, he analyzes the Biblical accounts of rebellion, sacrifice, suffering, and triumph that stabilize, inspire, and unite us culturally and psychologically.”

“It is time for us to understand such things, scientifically and spiritually; to become conscious of the structure of our souls and our societies; and to see ourselves and others as if for the first time.”

It sounds like a great read, but you don’t have to wait for Jodan’s book to experience the wisdom of two thousand years of holy men and women wrestling with God.

From my patron Saint, St. Silouan the Athonite:

“We must always remember that the Lord sees us wrestling with the Enemy, and so we must never be afraid. Even should all hell fall upon us, we must be brave.”

Two important points here:

First: We wrestle with the Enemy. The Enemy isn’t some vague force. It’s the Devil and his legions, actively working to capture your soul and keep your eyes off God. The struggle of following God is one they eagerly cheer on, hoping you’ll turn away and chase only worldly desires.

Second: Do not fear. Be brave. Every day, we are in the fire, and the only way out is through it. You may feel alone because the heat is so intense, but God is with you. He fuels you, even when you feel like you’re barely moving.

Saint Theophan the Recluse, in The Art of Prayer, writes:

“You say that you cannot help being resentful and hostile? Very well then, be hostile — but towards the devil, not towards your brother. God gave us wrath as a sword to pierce the devil — not to drive into our own bodies.”

Now we are wrestling! If you’re blaming God for your situation, turn your anger toward the true villain: the devil, who has been mucking things up since the beginning. When you direct your wrath at God, you only hurt yourself, cutting off your greatest strength—the Lord who created you.

So, how do you turn your anger away from God?

One way is to avoid distractions and idle thoughts. Alone in your office, aimlessly surfing the web, your mind will darken, and your anger will grow. But focus on things that matter: reading to your kids, studying the Bible with your wife, chopping wood. Your mind will settle, and your soul will be comforted.

Saint Paisios offers simple advice:

“As much as possible, one should do one or two things only, complete them correctly, and then, with a clear mind and a rested body, get started on something else.”

Put down the phone. Turn off the TV. Curse multitasking. Focus on one thing, finish it, then move on to the next. Wear yourself out, pray, and rest. Wrestling with God should lead you to one outcome: the exhausted, blissful peace of a soul at rest.