Selling our girls, you know it’s true

Sex is a good thing. My wife and I have eight children, we know that very well! But sex is not love, and sex is not beauty, and that is what is being sold to our girls, and boys. We are all complicit.

I was speaking to a group this month in Fort Wayne, Indiana. We were going through my Ladder UPP program and one of the questions we discussed together was “what was the worst thing you did to yourself as a child and how does it affect you today?” One of the attendees raised her hand to answer and did so without hesitation:

“Believing the lie that our body should be used to be popular, to get people’s attention, to give away sex. I started believing that in High School and it impacts my life to this very day.”

Her passion is spreading the word that a women’s body shouldn’t be for sale.

We have allowed ourselves to sell girls. Look at supermarket magazine stands, TV commercials, professional cheerleader outfits that everyone treats as wholesome as apple pie during Sunday football, the silicone of reality TV, etc. Is it any wonder girls are raised to believe that their most valuable commodity is their body? Is it any wonder children look at a sexualized culture and say to themselves, “my parents buy and sell sex. It must be a good thing.”

Chew on the following statistics found here and here and here:

• The average child starts viewing porn at the age of 11.
• 83% of boys and 57% of girls have seen group sex online.
• 66.5% of young men and 48.7% of young women said viewing pornographic materials are an acceptable way to express one’s sexuality.
• Four of six 16-year olds ADMIT to viewing porn regularly.
• The single largest group of internet pornography consumers is children aged 12-17
• 81% aged 14-16 regularly access explicit photographs and footage on their home computers.
• Nearly 9 out of 10 children had no security settings on their phones and only 46% of parents were aware that they were even necessary.
• Sexting – 40% of 11 – 14 yr olds have used their mobile phones or computer to send pictures of themselves or receive naked or topless images of friends.

You let your teenager or even younger child have a computer in their room. You let your teenager or even younger child have a “smart” phone. They need neither. They can do their homework in the living room under your guidance and no one, even you, really have to have a smartphone. It’s heroin for the brain. Combine that with sex, and leaving a teenager alone with a smart phone is liking throwing your puppy into a cage of lions. And that is no exaggeration.

Now, let me tell you what love is:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

If the one you think loves you doesn’t act that way, they either don’t love you or don’t know how to love. Don’t believe the lie.

Love is not an emotion. Love is not sex. Love is not a gift or a heartfelt “I’m sorry”. Love is not what this world is selling your girls. And boys.

Let me tell you what beauty is:

“The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.” Audrey Hepburn

My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world and it is because as she grows older her soul glows brighter. It overwhelms me.

Beauty is not what you do with your body. It is as much about character as anything else, especially considering that physical beauty fades. You don’t want to be alone as you age, the best way to insure that? Don’t believe that physical beauty and sex are what makes a woman beautiful. If you do, then when the one who “loves you” becomes bored, he’ll move on to someone younger and more “beautiful”. And you’ll both just keep chasing “beauty”. Injecting saline and plastic is usually the beginning of something, not the end. And usually, when it ends, you won’t like where you end up.

Think about all the ways you allow the lie of “sex” to influence your children. TV watching, “smart” phones, your dress, your example. You get the picture. We are raising a generation of sexualized children who value shallowness because we are the ones buying and selling.

Please stop. Just stop. Do something about it in your home today.

We have one live, live free! Now act like it.